Si-Cology 1: Tales and Wisdom From Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle by Si Robertson

Author:Si Robertson [Robertson, Si]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781476745374
Amazon: 1476745374
Publisher: Howard Books
Published: 2013-09-03T05:00:00+00:00

“I don’t know any redneck who’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red Fun Neck!”

Black Market

WHILE I WAS IN Vietnam, I became sort of a psychologist for several of the soldiers from Bravo Company, who were the infantry and foot soldiers. They were some of the bravest soldiers in Vietnam and always seemed to be in the line of fire. Well, the army liked to give the guys who’d been beating the bush for eleven months a couple of weeks to cool off before they shipped them back to the United States. I guess Uncle Sam figured there wasn’t any better place to do it than my hotel room. There was always an empty bunk in my hotel room in Can Tho, and a lot of the guys from Eleventh Bravo ended up staying in my room for a couple of weeks.

Hey, while they were cleansing their minds and relaxing, they liked to tell a lot of their stories to me. My empty bunk became Dr. Phil’s sofa! I listened to their stories with an inquiring mind, and a lot of guys liked to bounce their fears and problems off of me.

You wouldn’t believe some of the stories I heard! One guy showed up and stayed in my hotel room for three weeks. We became pretty good friends, and he told me about how the Vietcong attacked their camp one night. He said three of their guys were badly hurt during the attack, and the medic immediately started treating their wounds. The medic attended to one guy, leaned him up against a tree, and then started patching up the next guy.

Well, after the medic patched up the second guy’s shoulder, he moved on to the third guy, who was shot in the leg. All of a sudden, they heard the second guy screaming. A tiger had attacked him and was dragging him back into the jungle! The medic and the other two guys started shooting at the tiger and scared it back into the bush. It was one of the most frightening stories I heard in Vietnam.

Fortunately for me, I avoided most of the dangerous missions in Vietnam. But one day, my colonel came to me and closed my hotel room door.

“This conversation never took place,” he said.

Uh-oh, I thought to myself. I’m in trouble now.

The colonel reached into his pocket and handed me three thousand piastres, which was Vietnamese money.

“Go get me a Jeep engine,” he said.

“Say what?” I asked. “Why did you come to me? What do you expect me to do?”

“You have the money,” he said. “Go find me a Jeep engine.”

Hey, I didn’t know what to do. I went and found one of the guys staying in my room. He’d been in Vietnam for more than three years and was always downtown. He spoke good Vietnamese, so I figured he knew a bunch of the locals and where to find a Jeep engine.

“Hey, Kelly,” I said. “Look, I need to go get a Jeep engine. Can you help me?”

“Sure, I know where to go,” Kelly said.

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